Lighting

once again i am going to blog about lighting due to the fact that last night was sooo scary cause of all the lighting!! the major lighting started when i was at gymnastics practice at my church...and we all were hoping the lighting would stop and just the rain would keep up. we all hoped wrong. i am so scared of lighting...like to the max so having to drive home in that was no fun whatsoever!! I think i prayed like 50 times before i finally got home!! having the sky light up while driving might be cool to some people but not me!! once i got home i ran inside and started eating dinner!! then like five mins after getting home, my sisters tv was hit but lighting. i think my sister had like a heart attack when that happened cause it scared her like crazy!! the lighting finally stopped like at 11:30, thats when i went to bed cause i cant sleep without my tv on(i hate the silence) and i was too scared to turn on my new tv with my sisters just got hit so i waited til everything stopped then pasted out!! what a crazy night it was indeed!!

If i could party all night and sleep day and throw all of my problems away, my life would be easy, my life would be easy!!

ok so basically my weekend was amazing!! friday night, after going to my old highschool football game, i drove up with milly with my friend and her new boyfriend. i havent seen my friend in forever so it was nice to hang with her at the football game and see all my old friends from school. after the game we drove to milly to meet up with another one of our friends. she goes to GMC and she has an apartment so we chilled there all weekend long. That was my first time in milly, kinda, i went there for a band camp one time at GCSU but that doesnt count, i didnt get the chance to drive around milly so hanging there for a weekend with two of my close friends from highschool was pretty much freakin amazing!! Course we went out and partyed all night and just to clear things up, my title is a song from the black eye peas, its called "party all the time" and that was our theme song for the weekend cause it pretty much was true!! and plus i got to watch my first college football game, we watched UGA beat USC!! so all in all i had an amazing weekend and i cant wait to do it again!! and party even more!!

Questions answered

My greatest challenge with this writing assignment was just the writing period. Coming up with the topic wasnt that hard for me cause my mind thinks of the weirdest things ever so coming up with topics is never really that hard for me. Writing the essay was the hardest part cause i am so scared that i am not the best writer ever so i dont do well on the writing part. i scare myself into having a lot of errors in my paper. The editing, as the everyone and the teacher could tell, was rough. Without all the editing errors i believe my paper would be really good and that i would be a great writer but i just cant get pasted the editing!!

When i got to read other people's blogs i gained ideas on how to improve my own. When i read the blogs that i enjoyed to, i saw how they wrote them and how into the writing they were and i tired to copy that into my writing after i started editing. The more emotional blogs were better, or more enjoyable to read so i tried to make my essay more enjoyed instead of a boring paper to read. Commenting on other people's essays makes me really pay attention to everything in the paper. So the next time i write a paper i remember the editing problems the people had and i try to not make the same. i learn from other people. i enjoy learning from other people!!

rainy day

the rain is just so relaxing to me. I have never met someone who loved the rain just like me. To play or dance in the rain just gives me an overall happiness and just excites very bone in my body. to feel the rain against me is so refreshing. My dream kiss is even in the rain. This morning i woke up to the rain and i was so excited but once i heard the lighting and hearing the thunder shortly after i wasnt happy anymore. I am so scared of thunder and lighting, always have been and always will be. Its weird that with one one you can love and hate it at the same time. I love it when it rains but 80% of the time with rain comes thunder and lighting which i hate!! I do wish it would rain today when i start walking to my car, that way i can have a reason to dance in it!! i have that really long walk!! I do hate driving in the rain though!! i just like to dance, play, and one day kiss in the rain!! and sleep!! a rainy night(without thundering and lighting) just puts me to sleep!!

confusion

why do people we dont like like us but the people we like never like us...every once blue moon people get lucky...i lucky...and actually have someone who i like like me. it just confuses me how the world works sometimes. there is someone at my work, he is cute, a BIG partier but i can handle that, and believe it or not sometimes he has a sweet side, not to mention the biggest, perfect smile ever!! but he wont make a move cause im the "boss's daughter" and people are scared that if they make me mad they will lose their job. honestly...i love being the boss's daughter but i still like to be treated like just another worker there by the other workers!! they are scared to talk to me or hang out cause that makes them think they might lose their job!! it stinks!! i just dont no what to do sometimes, i wish they would see that even though i am the boss's daugther and that wont change that im still a normal person here to work!! and to be told that is the only reason why they wont make a move stinks ever more!! life really does confuse me sometimes!!

my essay

Trouble
As I was stepping towards the front door, I felt like my heart would jump out of my chest and just scream bloody murder. I was scared out of my mind. I never thought that something like this would happen to me. I thought I would be smarter. I had to face the music sometime though; the other alterative was not an opinion to me. Finally, I just manned up and opened to the door and stepped into my worst nightmare.
My parents were sitting in our living room doing their normal activities. Dad, sitting on the huge chair that he loved more than anything, was on the laptop, working of course, while mom was reading a book about parenting on the couch. Great was all I could think about; maybe that book would have all the answers. As I walked to the hallway about to go up the stairs, hoping they did not see me pass by, I was not ready, I heard my father say, “How was your day daring?” As I turned back to the living room, suddenly my knees gave out on me, my palms got amazingly sweaty, and that white, huge room seemed as small as I was. Without even thinking, I just blurted it out; “I’m pregnant!”
The light coming in from our window-walled living room changed from the shinning, golden sun to the light from the lamp on a detective’s desk. As I stood there with no words to say, I waited for their response. I was dripping sweat of fear, and it felt like time had frozen. From the corner of my eye, I saw my mom’s face drop into her hands with despair while my dad’s face changed into the brightest, reddest, red I have ever seen in my entire life. As dad stood up from the chair, throwing the laptop into it, he just started yelling many questions like, “What do you mean? How could this have happen? Who is the stupid, little boy who got you pregnant?” My mom was quiet still. I started to cry. I could not hold it in anymore. I decided I would answer one question at a time. “I’m pregnant Dad” is the only way I thought to answer that first question. He should know how I got pregnant consider him and mom gave me the bird and the bee talk when I was ten, which was only six years ago, but I did not want to seem like a smart butt at a time like this, so I decided I would combine the second and the third answer together. “His name is Tyler dad” I started off. “He is in my third block with me. He is the head football star, the quarterback, and I fell for what he was saying.”
Just the mention of his name made me think back when all this happened. I was at my locker minding my own business like I normally do when he came up to me. I could not believe it at first. Why would the head football star come up to me, the shiest girl in school, and just start a conversion? I did not hang with the popular crowd like him, so it threw me off. His smooth, shinny hair, not one out of place, and his perfect smile and his deep blue eyes I could just swim in made me go into a state of mind I had no clue on how to get myself out of. With his deep voice he asked me what I was doing after school and maybe if I could tutor him in math, the class we had together. Of course without even thinking I answered yes. I was like a giddy little kid. We talked for a few more minutes than the bell rang and we had to go to our next class. Well I guess anyone could guess what happened after that. One thing led to another and here I am now, telling my parents about the baby I was going to have.
Finally my mom spoke but she was so quiet that with all my dad’s noises in the background, I could hardly hear her. “Have you thought about another opinion” she asked. I knew they would ask that. My parents and I had different beliefs about this subject. I was more pro-life while they were more pro-choice. “No mother, you know how I feel about abortion. I will not do it.” She just sat there again while dad started screaming again. “I thought you were smarter than that Alex. I thought you knew when to say no.” The thing is I did know when to say no. I could have never told my dad that I wanted it happen. I was the shy, skinny girl that no one paid attention to. I thought I was ugly. To have someone as amazing as Tyler to want to do that with me, it made me feel beautiful, like I was someone special. I just thought that I could not get pregnant. I thought that I was different from all the other teenage mothers. I thought I could not get pregnant with my first time. “I’m sorry Dad, I am your baby girl and I failed you, and I failed you too Mom. Please, I need the support of my parents to get through this.” Dad was still standing; however, he went from yelling to speechless. Finally Mom rose and gave me the biggest hug I could have ever answered for. The kind of hug only a mother could give. As she squeezed me into her body, my face was up against her hair and I could smell her hair. It smelt like flowers still in the field. It felt like we had become one. My pain was her pain. In that one powerful hug, I suddenly knew everything was going to be ok. I was protective. As I lifted my head from my mom’s shoulder, I looked at my dad and our eyes met. Before I knew it, my dad was hugging both my mom and me. Both of us fit into his arms. In that family hug, I felt more loved then I have ever felt my entire life. No one, not even Tyler, could ever make me feel more loved then I felt in that one simple hug. Trouble had hit me, but my family would fight with me until the end.

scared

ok so here is the deal...i really dont want to write today lol i am actually kinda scared. I think i have a good topic yet im still scare. i think i will mess it up because i am not that great of a writer. if you read my blog you should already know that. i talk more in "aim" if you would say or like text message language lol so this is probably going to be really hard for me. Plus english is not my best subject so that wont help me out much either. I really enjoy venting when im scared so i guess blogging today was a good idea that way i can freak out on this thing instead of in person and everyone around me think i am a total loser for freaking out about writing a stupid essay(something that is probably really easy to them). Im the kind of person that doesnt what she is good at and sticks with that. i dont mess with things that i cant do...i normally get someone else to help me out. like with computers or spelling or whatever. i normally dont try, just ask, but in school i really cant do that lol. Teachers think i would be cheating and that is not good to be caught cheating and get a zero, esp when i have HOPE to maintain!!!!!!!! well i guess we all have to face our fears sooner or later and i will face mine in about a min. or so!! so wish me luck!!